2008 version
Why did that chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road
because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed
the road because he recognized the need to engage in
cooperation and
dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I
personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.
This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure – right from Day One!
– that everychicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road.
But then, this really isn’t about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the
chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the
chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us.
There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you
can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that
chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken
cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road
to cross, and
I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not
for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this
chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the
problem on this side of the road before it goes after
the problem on the other side of the road.
What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting
by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is
having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.
So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls,
which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he
can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road
because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he
cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough
.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a
few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for
the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a
serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of
crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the
world crossing roads together, in peace.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross
the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
